A Few Things I Learned from Sex and the City

Wow. It has been a while since my last post, and this post doesn’t include the newest outfit I wore either; however, something about watching Sex and the City compelled me to write. I think watching Carrie write her sex columns reminded me about my blog, and it reminded me how much I enjoy sharing my thoughts, via HauteRice.com in this example.

We all know Sex and the City ended in January, 2004, which was more than a decade ago. If you haven’t seen it, then you, Patrick Star, are living under a rock.

I have to say, I loved Sex and the City when I used to watch it on cable, and I loved re-watching it on Amazon Prime over the past couple of weeks.

So yah, I binge-watch.

Now, it’s time to talk about what I learned watching it the second-time around. So here’s your **SPOILER ALERT**.

  1. Carrie is suffocatingly dramatic.
  2. Aidan Shaw wasn’t “the one” for Carrie, but he’s the ideal man for most.
  3. Loving cold and distant men is not healthy (ehm, Big).
  4. I need a Samantha for my best friend posse.

I adore all four of the Sex and the City stars for different reasons.

Miranda is the career-first woman, who can often be cold towards men because she always put her needs first. A lot of women don’t care for Miranda, but I think her independency is something to look up to.


Samantha, also independent, is the sexually active cougar. I admired Samantha because she wasn’t afraid of judgement, even when she was judged by her best friends. Samantha didn’t need to explain herself decisions to anyone.


Charlotte, who I consider to be the most co-dependent, is my favorite character. I don’t applaud some of Charlotte’s major choices, such as giving up her art gallery to be a homemaker, but she shows strength in her persistence to find love and have a family. I’m not saying that being a full-time mom or homemaker is bad, because we all have different values, but you could tell that she loved her art gallery.


Finally, there’s Carrie. Carrie, Carrie, Carrie. I don’t dislike Carrie, but I didn’t care much for her character either. Carrie is beautiful, intelligent, and driven to find love, but her dramatic personality made me cringe. Like the time she freaked out because there was a squirrel at Aidan’s cabin – you know, the cabin in the woods? Also, I despised almost every outfit she conjured.


Carrie always put Big above Aidan. She remained friends with Big during her relationship with Aidan even after she cheated on Aidan with Big. What the eff? If my boyfriend cheated on me with some sloot, I wouldn’t get back with him, but if I did, then he would certainly have to cut all ties with the aforementioned sloot.

And you know what? Aidan forgave Carrie, gave her his love, and even tried to get along with Big, but he never forgot her Big affair – pun intended.


Aidan redid Carrie’s floors without being asked to, he took her to his special cabin for a vacation, and he wanted to introduce her to his parents because he was serious about a future with her. Aidan, the gentleman among Carrie’s men who came and went, should have stayed.

Big was a handsome and successful businessman who could never commit for too long. When he finally did commit, he committed to a twenty-something year old after six months of dating. Ouch. Imagine dating someone for X amount of years and they turn around and marry someone they dated in less than half the time they dated you.

Big’s relationships were never consistent, but he consistently left Carrie hurt and alone. I mean, the guy left her at the church on their wedding day.

“Did I ever really love Big, or was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable.” -Carrie Bradshaw

Carrie and Big had chemistry, and anyone who watched the show could see it. Carrie loved the love between them, and she was addicted to the pain he inflicted. Although we all have different needs from relationships, dating cold and distant men is not healthy.

Loving a man like Big, can bring you fleeting moments of happiness and lingering misery. Big loved Carrie, but he didn’t know how to love her the way she wanted to be loved, whereas Carrie was always compromising to love Big the way he wanted to be loved. I think Carrie compromised so much because there was insecurity in the relationship; Carrie was always afraid of losing Big since he had a reputation for dipping out when things got too serious.

I learned that we all don’t need an Aidan to feel loved, but we certainly won’t get it from Big. I also learned that none of us are one extreme of these women. Like their friendship, formed from different personalities and traits, we are all great because we possess several of their traits.


So maybe, we’ll never find someone who’s an extreme Aidan or Big, but, instead, a combination of the two. A Baidan.

Yes… A Baidan.

On a side note, my posse has girls similar to a Charlotte and a Miranda, and I just need a Samantha. Please apply in the comments section.


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